I have look for my missing posts and cannot find them.  Gone.  Telling Daniel Bass stories on the porch of the cabin on Shishebogama.  He cannot let the story book lie, he turns the pages one after the other grinning slyly.  I stop trying to read and let the book lie closed.  The night has arrived and with it the fireflies.  The story unravels from my head, and Little Bear who cannot see well at night is out and about.  I see Little Bear stumble into a hole and who rescues him?  Daniel who cannot let the pages alone is in thrall to my voice and when asked what happened to Little Bear, gives the story a new turn.  The child who has learned to disrupt and get attention is now focusing like a laser; I ask him what will Little Bear do next and he tells me. 
Gone is Birdie Girl and our bond.  She is looking at me and this look I have never had before.  Now that I am a Grandmother I am given this wonderful gift of treasure.  Our eyes meet and envelop.  How deep --as deep as love. 
Gone is Birdie Girl's first overnight.  I am in my first apartment on Section 8 from Green Bay.  The apartment is Scandanavian Apt in Denmark, WI.  I have gone to pick up the children from Minocqua and Sharon expects me back but I disappoint her.  Daniel has some bad habits which he quickly puts to use in directing Birdie Girl's attention to her missing mother with the result of a tantrum.  We all weather this first and at the apt I find the children I baby sit for not there on this special weekend to befriend the children.  We enjoy the events with horses and tractor pulling. 
Gone are the babysitting days:  three preschoolers that take the place of my vacuuming.  I am up at 4:30 and prepare their day for them.  Up, dressed, fed and off to day care where I deliver them via the parent's car.  The baby is so easy to care for and her name has too many sylables for me so I give her a new one she does not seem to mind.  The little girl reminds me of me and I grow in a few short weeks to love her.  The older boy makes 3.  They all are part of my life in Denmark, WI
Gone is my winter teaching religion at All Saints in Denmark, WI.  Father Columbo oversees an expansion of the church/school to include a new gynasium and cafeteria.  I am a carnival barker for a fair booth.  My kids are not really kids, young adults learning about life.  I like them.  They like me. 
Gone is Daniel and my excursions into the woods and water.  We turn over logs and capture caterpillars.  Water holds no fear for Daniel, he steps off the end of the pier where it is over his head; I reach down and lift him from the water when he bobs up:  You saved yourself I tell Daniel.